When I first started hanging out with large groups of riders such as Harley-Davidson Owner Groups, I noticed that there were circles of friends, some overlapping, and that folks gossiped a bit. Of course, this is often the way it is in any large group dynamic. I guess that I was naïve because it took me quite a while to learn how pervasive this gossip really is and how hurtful it can be to some.

Like many folks, I would prefer to be thought of well of by most. However, the only folks that I really care what they think or say about me are my best friends who I consider family (these people I can count on one hand with fingers left over), folks that I count as close friends, and people that I respect. Heck, those of you who have really partied with me and witnessed some of my antics know that if gossip was a big deal to me, I would exercise more restraint. If my actions are a topic of general discussion, I have no one to blame but myself.

However, we're all not built the same, and some folks have different tolerances for the feelings of betrayal and hurt that gossip can cause. I often think that if people thought a little more about the harm that can be done before speaking, the Golden Rule to live by in The Bible would prevail, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

So, perhaps we should ask ourselves a few questions when there are group and individual conflicts such as: Who are our friends? Have we told them so lately? Have we been a true friend to them? Have we spoken ill of them or violated their confidence? Have we made our best effort to reach out and help them in their hour of need? Have we spoken with them directly to resolve differences or mend fences?

Each of us can only answer these questions for ourselves and try to make things right with someone, if necessary.

We never know when it will be our last day on this earth, and I, for one, plan to leave with a clear conscience.

As always, add 98 cents to this, and you'll have a buck.

  --  Jim "Jimbo" Knepper    March 3, 2006